“...'That’s valid,' asserted the curious kid.
'I’m just a bit salty because
my facial hair’s always, like, coming in mid.
So, how do I glo-up my fuzz?'..."
"...Every morning I watch you sneak in here and do God-knows-what with that coffeemaker. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? Watching you slurp away. Sometimes, one pot isn’t even enough. Pig..."
"...Nervous about your first date? Don’t be! Just stick to these seven, easy-to-follow steps, and you’ll have her ‘enthusiastic consent’ faster than you can say 'of course I’ve read Sylvia Plath!'..."
